C'est bizarre

Articles always bothered me, i can't seem to realize their purpose.

Especially in french the nuances are more divisive, definite and indefinite along with their contextual paraphernalia.

Des affections, des concordances, des attractions...Some affection, some comforableness, some attraction...not in absolute, just part of the whole.

I understand the logic; it's just hard for me to accept. Articles are not my cup of tea. When you are an absolutist, the need to distinguish between all and some is rare.

Boo!

Last night i slept rather well. When i woke up i knew why.

It's about to rain. Everything looks so dreamy. The gray mountain that i see though my picture window appears blue now, reminding me of the far blue mountains. Oregon, here i come!

Maintenant, je vais édutier pour mon examen de français. C'est mercredi prochain. Last test i made a 96% and was very disappointed (ah, no reason to roll your eyes), primarily for my below par listening skill. Interestingly, i find that deciphering the accents becomes easier when two men are speaking. Hopefully this time we will get men!

It's Halloween week and there are several parties going on. I haven't decided whether to stay home and brood or get out and be freaky...

When you see me smile

This morning, margarita on my table was looking so pretty. It made me happy.

Few days back i realized the best way to decide if a job makes you happy is just to ask yourself this. "If i drop dead tomorrow at work would it be a job i would feel proud to have given my life to?" My answer came back "Yes". Sure, i am a person of many interests and i would like to try out other experiences, but i am settled for now.

So yeah, back to today. It was a happy day. A little bit of each, work, study and aiding others. "Abandhyam divasam kuryaat danadhyana karmabhi". The evening was no exception. Many laughs were shared at dinner with old friends. Indeed i am blessed to have so many people in my life, people that care for me, people who look up to me and people that depend on me. What will i be without you all?

Merci!

And you my dear. Mon petit roi, ma raison d'être. You who saw me sad. Saw me broken and weak, clutching my heart and braving the blows you so lovingly sent my way.

What do i say to you, mon amour chéri...

A demain

MW are killing me. Need a change of plan.

Unearthed devious admin plot...man, i am so gullible! But i will be damned if i vote against my will. Sure it's not gonna affect me per se, but that's beside the point.

Old old student came to visit, wow, time goes by so fast!

People are retiring left and right, pretty soon the dept will be full of us young faces, :-D yay, more members for The Dude Club! Today we talked about having a Hookah party. I have never smoked a Hookah, wonder how it goes, but truthfully, i am more inclined to venture upward...:-P, dude-style.

Crazy french music video we had in class today; almost 5 min long song, a mix of genres pop, hip-hop etc. etc. By that i mean sexual encounters of the french kind. lol. Why is it that they know how to carry it out so convincingly, i know not! Oh, nothing carnal about it, just at a whole other level. You know like when you add that master organ to the ensemble, ah, i forget, what is it again, oh yeah right, the brain!

I have a message for mr. jones. Had it for him when i woke up, but forgot to pass it on. But it's kinda late now. Maybe tomorrow.

Cet après-midi

Made it late to french class, sat in the back. All by myself. Avoided empty seats in the first row. Eye contacts were avoided as well.

So far so good.

DWTS recap

The old lady has left the floor. Awww...i will miss her spunk!

Can't decide between Lance and Cody. Lance is such a joy to watch, then Cody has that vulnerable charm of boy-man coming out of his cocoon, hmm, i am lost! I start voting from next week, guess i will figure it out by then.

I do hope that Len comes back next week. Michael Flatley (bless him for all that he has created), is just too darn easy to please. Cool new dance though! Wonder if that fire was real.

Nah!

I think my sleeping trouble is getting worse. Hovering around that dangerous edge. Sigh. Not in my hand. Pas vraiment.

Le lundi passé

Tra-la-la...one week until the vote.

I am all ready with my Obama t-shirt and matching enthusiasm, er, i mean, Biden pants. lol. Ah, Joe, don't worry, i get you! Hmm...there might be a long line at the poll, and i did toy with the idea of an absentee ballot, but nay, for him i shall brave the line!

O-bama, O-bama, O-bama!!!

I wonder if i can influence my students. I will try tomorrow.

Some KKK members were plotting to assasinate the magnanimous lion. Indeed i anticipated that those small-minded folks (ah and likely with that matching small other body-part, lol, ahem, per Freud) might try to be stupid. Come on, don't be so predictable! Do something more radical, like, get a job maybe!!! Christ!

Ah, that reminds me of the lone boy in my french class, in a good way. Yesterday he came and sat next to me, i dunno why. The class was empty and there were 30 other chairs. Wait! Or maybe that's why! Boy, am i slow or what! Anyway, he strikes up a conversation of this and that (he's got one of those sweet-ass European accents and by now i know he writes poetry) and i am not asocial so i partake in the convo. Prof comes in after 10 min and class starts. During our customary chats we find out he is actually an engineering major. Say what! Score! By that i mean i dig such contradictions.

I was thinking how i was envious of his little English-French dictionary (primarily because i won't be able to read it, lol) when he asks me if i like chocolate and gives me four smarties, all green. Followed by an exclamation, "wow, you got all my greens!" (um, he is 21, so it's understandable) I ask him if he wants them back, but he says it's ok. I accept this reluctantly as i know that's probably all he has to eat between the three back-to-back classes (all literature and language!) he takes on mondays. I get up to get rid of my chewing gum, and secretly offer some green smarties to the other girl. She smiles and says no.

I was completely immersed in what prof was saying when i felt a tap on my shoulder, " levez le main" he was saying, as he gave me his last smarties. I almost jumped back. "Don't touch me, boy! I am but a live wire and will break you in two if you let me so much as pass through!" Said i in my mind. But for the rest of the class i sort of turned myself away from him, sat askance and remained quiet.

I don't think i did anything to provoke his said behavior but i will be even more reserved tomorrow.

On my veranda

Bleeding heart vine looks wilted. Perhaps it's time to water it.

Just saying.

Please

Make it go away.

Ce vendredi

Sometimes i hate fridays. It's a running errands day for me, in part. But i particularly disliked it today as i attended to the two legal tasks that i have undertaken this year; that began some time in the summer and continue to annoy me with their never-ending procedural appendages. Bleugh!

Together, the two signify an end and a beginning, respectively. Ah, but hidden within themselves they carry a beginning and an end. Indeed it is a duality, n'est-ce pas? Life, if you ask me, is rarely discrete. Can there be a beginning without an end, or an end without a beginning? Eh?

Today i found an old picture that i bought at a fair a long time ago. It's a black and white photograph of a young couple. I always hoped to frame it someday. The day when i would find the one who understands the picture comme moi.

Guess it's time to find that frame.

Moi

Heureuse. Like never before.

Avec toi. Yes, you, my love.

Ici. And everywhere.

Ce moment. And always.

Qui sait ce qui sera demain? Moments are all we have.

D'accord?

A moment of realization can last a lifetime.

I have to write about love and disappointments, fate and her quirky twists for my next french critique, in about half an hour from now.

What shall i write? Who will be writing it? L or R? I wonder.

La semaine qui était

R: The Leo went underground, and took me down too. Sheesh, so what if i cried in public, it's my blog and i would cry if i wanna!
L: (snicker) Oh yeah, shed, shed, after all it's just helpless powerless useless meaningless reasonless reckless droplets of water.
R: One day your pride will get the better of you.
L: Spare me your advices. You are nothing but a figment of my existence, and so shall you remain.

Libérez

Fall is finally here, beautiful and crisp. Maple trees are starting to show the first touch of cold. Soon the leaves will be strewn around the ground, while some runaway ones will choose to adorn the massive iron gate, playfully. Makes me want to walk endless with no destination.

Obama-Biden signs are popping up all around my neighborhood making me proud of its members' cognitive status, in addition to its quaint charm i was already enamored with. Sly fox has the tough task of exciting his supporters without inciting them. Good luck, borrow some brains. Sorry, not feeling particularly generous today, not to him at least.

I have chanced upon an Orpheus. His refrain put mine to shame and i let Eurydice go. Since then i have come to question the depth of my pain. Looking back i realized, never have i allowed pain to break me in two, stop me dead in my track. Instead i stiffened my jaws in silent resolve, held my head more erect and chin higher, went about doing everything that i was supposed to do. Fiercer, just so i could not hear my own thoughts.

What does it mean? Do i consider the display of pain a weakness? Now that will be duplicitous given the fact i consider it as one of the purest forms of human emotion. I am sincerely lost.

But here's to Orpheus, here's to liberation, let your strings play your pain, heart to fingers, fingers to strings, strings to notes, notes to her...

Let it rain.

Windy night

Well well, er what!

John Stossel pleads to so-called uneducated folks to not vote and leave that rather serious decision in the hands, er, minds of ones who are in possesion of complex thoughts and analytical power. Hemingway to Fitzgerald, "Shame on you, Scott, novels are not your sounding boards!"

Sly fox backs up magnanimous lion at his rally of like minded (read lacking mind) followers. I am not buying it right now, but i may feel duly touched at a later time. lol

Palin's found guilty of abusing her office. Er, boring!

Darn! Just when i was getting into a groove with my nightly news!

Still waiting to find out if i need to stow my money away underneath the mattress. Hola G-7 and G-20, hurry up and make up your minds. Infuse, transfuse, refuse if you have to, but stop confusing us!

Regardant

Surprisingly i got a lot done today including a long tête-a-tête with an old friend.

Presently watching sand falling. Not feeling so swell.

Ah, please don't worry about me, friends who read this blog. Leo is one tough animal.

And as for the ones (or is it only one) who got to see me broken, well, i consider those of you damn lucky! Then again, malheureusement cher ami... Lady Luck, unlike a Leo, is rarely loyal, if ever. So enjoy while you can!

Vent, vent!

A crazy week is ahead of me. Between the waves that are the meetings, tending to RFPs, advising, evaluating, teaching, french test and that big job-related decision that i have been avoiding, i wonder what will serve as my life-line. Ah, none of the above!

I have some general idea who/what can, but not like it's in my hand! Que dites-vous, mr jones? Wanna lend me a hand, pull me up and carry me around? ;;)

Maintenant, i have to study for my french test and grade my students' midterms. Oh yeah, i have to feed myself too so perhaps hit the grocery store (i dunno about you, but i can only take take-outs for so long!) and laver mes vêtements aussi! Hmm, i do have some other errands to run, and reco. letters and such to write, but we will see about that.

Eeek!

Le sablier

Vous me manquez.
Ce soir, chaque soir, chaque jour, toujours.

Ne vous inquiétez pas, je ferai que vous voulez, mais je vous promets mon chéri,

Malgré la peur de se brûler les ailes
Malgré la peur de retomber du ciel
Tant qu'il y aura dans nos coœrs une
Je te serai fidèle.

Bah, Leo!

I really don't have time to blog now, as i need to rush out very soon to make my various meetings, but i am sneaking in an entry anyway!

After the tumultuous tuesday the sea appears calm and the current connecting us ever stronger. Oh, how i hope to cross the sea and be with him! But sometimes i wonder if i am worthy. How can i tell, really? And i want to do right by him. That's exactly how he feels. Ironic, n'est-ce pas? Reminds me of O. Henry classic The Gift of the Magi, of Jim and Della Dillingham, ah sweet love, sweet mercy!

I have not been feeling well of late, guess i am trying to do everything and sleeping less, eating at crazy hours etc., but the very high compliments on my french analysis and composition devoirs is reason enough to keep at it, je pense. :-P

There goes the Leo again!

Etre

They looked at each other across the distance, invisible, for a very long time.

Just being.

Bon Voyage!

Eurydice no longer waits à la porte bleue.

Bon voyage au-dessus du nuages!

:)

Manic Monday

Wow, i am completely wiped out after that 12 hour non-stop day! Well, guess i asked for it!

On the plus side it does feel like i am a second year french student now. Ah, c'est bon, mon amie! Also we are dealing with controversial topics, unlike in math. :-P ...hehe. Melikes.

And about that stupid suicide-murder spectacle being projected as a bailout due to bailout, ok! Stop already, don't generate ideas, folks! Tough it up, sheesh, it was just a single act done by some thoughtless man.

Wonder what's gonna happen on the debate tomorrow. I can't stand to look at the sly fox and his malice-distorted facade. Ahhhghhgh! Hmm...if only i can somehow get him to that sacred sand spot, hmm...getting him to lie won't be a trouble at all.

And then you know what happens! Ooops, guess it was just gravity!

Bonjour!

It was a night dreams are made of, wasn't it mr jones?

Merci, merci, merci!

Seriously!

Go ahead, use your dirty baseless smear tactics, not like you are expected to use your brain, you fucking low-life stupid hick! Now see, that was not nice, you made me swear! But by Jove! That felt good! lol

But seriously, do you really think you would succeed where Hillary didn't? I mean, c'mon sweetie, give it a rest. Go home and breed or whatever it is that you do up there!

Seriously!

Pourquoi

Praying with all my might, for a manic monday.

Mindless toil, oh just make me numb! Take my consciousness and render me the bliss of void.

Pourquoi, mon chéri, mon petit roi, dis-moi, pourquoi tu es triste?

Hmm

I was rather restless last night. Thoughts can be like wild horses at times, n'est-ce pas, all you can do is just kind of hang in there, and brace yourself for a ride tumultuous.

So yeah, i am a bit bruised as a result.

Today i decided to keep myself busy with various types of school-work, a little bit of this and a little bit of that. At times like this i am thankful for my highly demanding job. Mother Nature was of no help. It was a rather gloomy day with sporadic drizzles and a sappy sky. Blah!

Hmm, i could have been socializing and enjoying good food right about now, but i turned down a dinner invite for tonight. Perhaps i am brooding.

Ahem, perhaps? LOL.

Say whatever L, i don't care. I will be fine. We will be fine. You'll see, my friend.

Vendredi dernier

Last Friday mr. jones and i got hitched.

No, there were no guests. Or any extravagant flower arrangements for that matter. It was just us. Us two and the officiating one. Of course we eloped. How else could it be? Indeed it was all his doing, i cannot take any credit. All i can say that i was taken by surprise.

It was an interesting Friday. I must say.

By now it's a blur, malheureusement. Then such memories always are. Oh yeah, i do remember stopping the officiator during the service...as he uttered the words "...lawfully wedded husband"..."No", said i. "I take this man, period." The old guy looked bewildered, et il a continué de nouveau, "Repeat after me...". And then it was done! There we were, looking at each other nervously and eyes twinkling in mischievous triumph all at once.

How was it?

La terre a tremblé comme nous avons marché sur elle
L'air a frissonné dès le contact
Les nuages ont explosé en pur agonie
Et le ciel s'est étendu sans fin pour contenir le vol montant.

C'est un rêve incroyable, n'est-ce pas? Vous me connaissez bien, je ne fais confiance pas en mariage. Pas du tout! Comment cette pensée est entrée dans mon rêve?

Ca me dépasse.

Six, er, five feet under

When the bar is set this low one can make do with a moving tongue and pair of legs. Sense of direction and comprehension of questions are not required.

After all the brain is highly over-rated. Ain't it? Whatdoya say, Six-pack Joes and Hockey Moms out there? Are you with me?

Jokes aside, Palin has dug McCain's grave. Well done!

A caller from NY is tearing her apart on C-SPAN as i write...