La année bissextile

Oh! Wait! I almost forgot! C'est le 29 février. In honor of la année bissextile i promised myself 29 posts in February, so here it is.

I wonder why February got the least amount of days, hmm...i will wiki it and let you know.

Saw the Moroccan dude in cafeteria today, he said 'ça va', dude's got a very sweet smile. But i am still jealous! He should be taking French 200 level at least, what's he doing in intro french eh?

Prof said they might take us to france after 200 level...ooh, can't wait! I mean i can always go by myself or friends etc. but it's a different experience going as student. Je pense.

They dropped Jason Yeager from AI ...):

Personal sunset

I am tired, very. And sleepy too. Spent a big chunk of today trying to avert disaster (i hate bureaucratic loops!), met with the dean candidate (hmm) and then did 2.5 hours of gym (step & yoga). Boy, no wonder i am beat! And there is almost no food in the fridge. I should be conjuring up some food now, but first I gotta write about this play called "passing strange"...created by some dude named Mark Stewart...

Ah, got some tulips on my table (smile), a gift from ma fille to celebrate the t/p news step 2. There was a cupcake too, but i ate it! Actually tomorrow is more like the celebration day, movie, spa and maybe some shopping avec ma fille.

Mr. jones, if you are reading this, i wish you good luck and i won't tell you why!

So yeah, this guy, who happened to be a singer, was being interviewed on radio as i was driving back home. He wrote this play, as kinda semi-memoir of a black man raised in LA who spent a good deal of time in Berlin/Stockholm.

ok, i feel really tired so this has to continue tomorrow...

Busy

Busy. Crazy busy.

Salut!

Comment allez vous ce soir, monsieur jones?

Vous étudiez votre cours de espagnol ou cherchez la net pour cher "sweater-vests"? :-P

Yawn, j'ai sommeil et je suis très fatiguée. Je pense que je me vais coucher maintenant...

Bonsoir, mon petit ami!

Eeeek!

eeeek! Swamped with work, have been on the comp sending and answering emails the whole day, intermittently making phone-calls to make sure everything and everyone is in order for the workshop. Talk about a one-woman show!

Finally, doing some brain work, eh, right brain, for now. Je finis mes devoirs de français. Puis je vais corriger les devoirs de mathématiques, regarder les shows "AI" et "project runway" et cuisiner mon dîner.

miam-miam! ("yumm-yumm" en français)

Ce soir

Watching AI (men)...haven't found any i really like yet, wait, update, David Hernandez, you go, you great voice+energy guy with great song! And you too, Jason yeager, you sexy thing! (shut up Simon! Or i will make you!) hmm, interesting take on "imagine", young David Archuleta. You will go a long way.

Eh, great news! Health scare is seemingly out of the way, and no, i didn't bow down and pray, rather broke down and cried...perhaps they are really the same, who knows!

More good news, hehe, 99.5% on french test. Pourtant, je pense que je n'ai pas fait assez bien! Well, see ya in the final, test! Two more weeks until quarter is over. I am gonna miss my students, i love when they all go to the board and present their problems, my little fishes swimming upstream, what a beautiful scene pour moi.

Time to enroll in the next french class; i checked, there are 16 courses altogether, so yeah, i can finish them in like 3 years, and move to Paris, maybe!

Have my organizer hat on this week (between teaching math and learning french), hopefully workshop will be productive and guests will go home all nicely articulated!

shhh, i am planning a coup...ah, education wise, don't freak out, anyone.

111111000000110103100001030011003104240

Classifying my posts in 6 stages yeah, 012345, added a zero stage. Let's see where this sequence leads to.

0. In this stage, the person is conscious about the loss, therefore not numb, but neither denies, nor accepts, nor blames anyone, nor bargains to revert the loss. One may even rejoice in the loss, for, what is more beautiful than pain that is pure...

"If we could scorn, hate and pride and fear;
If we were things born not to shed a tear,
I know not how thy joy we ever should come near...".

lost

good news on the job. bad news from home.

oscar night fashion wrap on tv.

lisa rinna critiquing daniel day lewis?

life doesn't make sense.

lost. i'm lost.

Aye, there's the rub

This blog ain't nothin but a nicotine-patch for the poison i put in my body/mind some time back. If you are reading it, careful, smokes can kill you! They don't tell you that, no siree, so watch out for yourself.

On a brighter point, "Falling slowly (once)" got the oscar for the best song. eh, some justice at least. Also, Dario Marianelli (composer: Atonement) is a hottie!

Finally, stage 2 is here. Methinks.

ain't nothin but a

don't know when
don't know how
lost the game
gambling with life

what was wanted
what was had
never kept count
never did that

Of cues and contradictions

Oh, wispy wind whooshing through the night air, wind chimes hitting against one another making haunting music, i am sitting here at the comp trying to write an exam. Just came back home, french dude said 'hi' as i was entering the building, oopsy, i forgot to say 'ca va'! god i almost forgot how bloody good-looking he was! eh, not just any old good-looking, but "i can charm you from here to the bedpost" good looking lol

I wonder. Maybe he will sponsor me and help quit you?

Sigh. Triggers. Cues.

I don't remember where i watched this, in some spy movie perhaps, the spy was programmed with cue words which would trigger the desired action. Of course i laughed and snickered in my leonine way, but little did i know, the tricks that mind can play. I have been wired. I am fine one moment, then hear or see one of those cue words and i am a mess the next moment. Can happen anywhere. At home, in car, or in a meeting...so far i have been brought down by,

1. crystal (at home, was reading magazine)
2. tout le temps (in french class)
3. kiddo (in dean's office, 'how's going kiddo')

And i simply don't know if there are more. I will know when they will strike me i guess.

But those were some jolly good times, were'nt they mr. jones? Remember when you quoted Dostoevsky? What was it about again? Clever banters with highly interesting characters are always welcome - definitely you were not being cynical like Svidrigaïlov, i hope? :-P

(smile) and the time you asked me if you may have my permission 'to flirt with me'? Ah, the sweetest thing a man has ever said to me! As i was driving tonight, i chuckled as i thought of that, lol, and almost went into the incoming lane with the jolt of my next thought...how you were also the most ferocious of all i came across...too bad those are not thoughts i am at liberty to divulge here! (chuckles)

Hmm. Life has a funny funny way of turning curves. Just brace yourself.

My five

Il est onze heures et demie du soir. Je n'ai pas sommeil.

Gotta get my mind off of you. Time to tally up the men, ahem, in random order...

Olivier Martinez: smoke, definitely smoke, when you gotta have 'em you gotta have 'em, restaurant bathroom qualifies.
Dermot Mulroney: ah, scotch, blended, have on the rock.
Johnny Depp: scotch, single malt...delicious, sip sloooooow.
Matt Dillon: not sure. could be either depending on the moment.
Tom Brady: tall drink of water...ah, nothing's like a tall drink of water.

ok, now i am sleepy!

Ce vendredi

Est-ce que vous avez bon soir, monsieur j?

Vous ne regardez pas votre ordinateur votre maison j'espère...:-P

Voulez-vous aller au toit après le dîner? Oui?

February 21st

It is a day close to my heart...in 1952 on this very day university students gave their lives defending their right to speak their mother tongue http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/International_Mother_Language_Day.

So yesterday, in my desire to to commemorate this day i went around asking people to write this sentence in their mother tongue:

February 21st is a very significant day for all who love languages.

It was kinda late and i could only find graduate students and a few faculty members. But what was endearing was to see the enthusiam with which they wrote the sentence in their mother tongue and any other languages they knew. So please overlook the errors that might have been made, and let's celebrate the languages of the world. And yeah, if you don't find your language here, send me an email and i will be happy to add yours.

In my opinion, sacrificing one's life for something one believes in is the ultimate badge of honor. And if you think about it, university students have always been the ones passionate enough to stand up for their ideals and brave the bullets, giving us lesser mortals pause to reflect and hope to march forward.

So here's to you, my brothers...long live your passion, long live languages!

Jara bhasha bhalobashe, tader kachhe ekush-e February ek pobitro din.
(Bangla: The language that they died defending)

21 de Fevereno é un dia ben importante por todos que adoram linguas. (Portugese)

2 gatsu 21 nichi wa kotoba ga sukina hito ni totte totemo taisetsu na hi desu. (Japanese)

21 Februar ist ein sehr wichtiger tag für jeden der sprachen liebt. (German)

21 Février est un jour très important pour tout qui aiment des langues. (French)

Jin-he bhashye pyaari hain, unke liye ekkis February ek behat hi bere din hain. (Hindi)

El 21 de Febrero es un dia muy importante para todas los que aman lenguajes. (Spanish)

Tanggal 21 Febuari adalah hari yang paleng penting bagi mereka yang mencintai bahasa. (Indonesian)

Ér yué érshi yī hào shi yī gè hn zhòng yaò dē ri zǐ gei nà xǐ huān yǔ yán dē rén. (Chinese)

I did ponder for a moment or two...how i felt about including the official language (that was being forced upon them) on my wall of commemoration until i saw the dichotomy in the apparent duality, and realized,

They died defending something they loved, not protesting against something they hated.

The more we realize how to tell them apart, the closer we get to turning this screwed-up world into a better place.

A song pour toi Mr jones

how can i ever forget how you made me laugh? lit up my world?
it matters not if you make me cry, my love
i am in your debt forever

ashes to ashes... soul to soul...let me bear the beautiful ache

Que dites-vous?

Je voudrais devenir une avocate, parce que j'aime raison et justice. Pourtant, je dois suivre beaucoup de cours pour devenir une avocate. On doit étudier les langues, les sciences politiques, la communication etc. et aussi passer l'examen de LSAT. L'examen est très difficile, mais je n'ai pas peur de l'examen ou de n'importe quel examen. Actuellement, j'étudie un cours de français et pratique pour l'examen. C'est mon cours prefére, mais n'est pas obligatoire pour le droit. Je pense que je serai une bonne avocate et compétente. Que dites-vous ?

Studying for french test, see above? I made it up! Oooh!
Hmm, missed AI for men last night...:-P Eh, i blame a certain someone! But hey, thanks old man for answering my SOS, you are the best friend a girl can ever have!

Lunar eclipse...i actually saw la lune vanish! Could i? Nah!

It takes two to tango

Interesting happening in french class today. We were studying Le Francais au Maroc and all of a sudden prof started conversing en francais with the Moroccan dude (who by the way speaks fluent french, i am so jealous!) continuing for like a whole 15 min, while my classmates looked at each other all puzzled. We didn't follow a single sentence, they were speaking so fast, just bits and pieces of words here and there. So yeah, this dialogue gives me pause cause i may have been guilty of doing it in my own class. A back and forth math tango that you can only dance with possibly your top student (sometimes two or more if i am damn lucky! wow sounds rather naughty eh? haha) with rest of them looking on with bewilderment. But damn it, we want to breathe sometimes too! So there!

So we are cool, prof, i get you.

We are gonna revive girls' night out now that S' baby is older. I am responsible for arranging it, as well as few other events that involve more than girls... haha... but no liquor or clubbing (damn!). Hey, we are responsible adults, can we not sip a few, while chalking out some IHE details? You tell me! Anyway, academia nowadays is nothing but bourgeois crap hidden underneath the scholarly badge of honor, really. We fumed in class today about how admin is spending money on things that will garner revenue (read vendors) while a simple thing such as our classroom clock fails to work! Sometimes i think i should become a political leader...eh, i will have a great following :-P

hehe...

Should i label this post 'denial'? Oh man, don't tell me i went all the way back? Someone help me, take my memory and set me free?

Sigh. It ain't fair, but c'est la vie!

Five steps of grief

Guess i skipped step 2. Or did i? My expression of anger is rather baffling, even to myself! lol. And what about step 3, eh, for us atheists? Geez, do we ever get a break for being critical thinkers? No! Anyway, i was going through my posts trying to identify each step and had a good laugh at myself...here goes "them steps"...

"Denial and Isolation
At first, we tend to deny the loss has taken place, and may withdraw from our usual social contacts. This stage may last a few moments, or longer.

Anger
The grieving person may then be furious at the person who inflicted the hurt, or at the world, for letting it happen. He may be angry with himself for letting the event take place, even if, realistically, nothing could have stopped it.

Bargaining
Now the grieving person may make bargains with God, asking, "If I do this, will you take away the loss?"

Depression
The person feels numb, although anger and sadness may remain underneath.

Acceptance
This is when the anger, sadness and mourning have tapered off. The person simply accepts the reality of the loss."

Done with work for today, finally. Maintenant je pense que je voudrais préparer le dîner et puis regarder la télé.

Miles to go

Ah, damn it! I fell back a few steps and landed on the 3rd.

Guess i hit a cusp.

Oh well, just gotta keep working at it.

"Whose woods these are i think i know
His house is in the village though
He will not see me stopping here
To watch his woods fill up with snow..."

Thank you Mr. Frost for those lines. For all the hard times.

Saturday was really crazy with open house. Supposedly one needs to talk (face-to-face) to 13 people per day to stay healthy, well i guess i completed my quota and then some. Actually i think i completed my quota for a whole week! I know, i know, it doesn't work that way! So sue me!

Sunday i was supposed to corriger les devoirs des étudiants et finir mes devoirs de français, but ended up reading my stash of unopened RDs. The whole afternoon.

High point: What did one strawberry say to the other strawberry? "If you were not so fresh, we wouldn't be in this jam!" haha, caught the drift?

Low point: The story of a boy who grew up in foster homes and his young mother who had to give him up. It was a powerful dichotomy, staying together would have meant the end to the boy's life that could have been (he ended up being a lawyer), and staying apart would have meant the end to their lives as they knew and loved. When he finally finds his mother again, she is in a home...all frail, her mind somewhere else...she looks to the side and mutters to the emptiness...as much as to him.

"You know, i tried. I tried."

He tries to concentrate on the space over her shoulder and the closed door that waited beyond. "I know you did". He answers, feeling the burn of a first tear as it escapes and runs down his face. "I know" He repeats. "I know". And they hold each other for a long, long time.

And i cried, with him. For him. For her. For us.

Eh, that's when i hit my cusp.

J'ai raison

R: Ah you may not condone what i have decided to do, but do i must. Maybe i will think differently when the sun rises tomorrow, mais la nuit est pour la lune et son ami.

L: Leave me be, R. Why must you be so stubborn? Besides, you are wrong my friend giving credit where credit's not due.

R: (laugh) Ah non, ce n'est pas vrai. Sûrement pas. Don't tell me it's not worth fighting for...

L: You think so cause you got no reason. Remember the "list" that was made? I mean who does that! Is that something you want, really?

R: That's just a shield, you stupid fool, you need to see beyond the visible. When it comes to life, mon amie L, j'ai raison, vous n'avez pas.

L: Whatever, R! I am sure you will regret it. I will pray for you with all my atheist might!

Il pleut sur ta ville

Can you hear me, mr. jones? In the trembling leaf, in the whisper of the wind, in the drip-drop of rain...

and the tremor of your heart...Ce coeur qui s'écoeure...

In retrospect

Taking a break from work...

So how was Saint V's day for me?

Sad Event: I have been a bad bad girl and ditched french class yesterday! Oh, the remorse is overwhelming! We were supposed to practise "Les Loisirs" and the irregular form of verbes ending with "er" and i can't believe i missed that!

Funny event: As an older student (older than me) wished me "Happy Valentine's Day", two younger students shuddered and said "Ugh, dude, that's such a fake day!" I, being in the middle wondered ...exactly when angst leaves us and wisdom and acceptance kick in?

Great event: We were so engrossed in doing math problems in groups that we compleletely lost track of time! Two hours went by and we only noticed it when the next class came in. I was in charge of keeping the time, but hey, what can i say, math is intoxicating and i was under the influence along with the rest of the class! haha, a bunch of people drunk on math, yeah, baby!

Aujourd'hui et toujours

Wow, that was a close call! I guess i made a mistake of trying to be someone that i was not. There, from now on i just listen to my own instincts. No matter how well wishing your friends might be, they just don't know you like you do.

It just made me realize, again, that truth cannot be over-powered. No siree! So i will just accept it, like in the serenity prayer.

I shall miss you til the end of my days, mon petit roi. Je veux toi dans mon coeur. Aujourd'hui et toujours.

And i know, somewhere, this same moment, you are saying it to me. "Je veux toi dans mon coeur, Tonu. Aujourd'hui et toujours."

Confession time

I did something quite uncharacteristic of me last night. No, i did not pick up a guy off the street...in answer to those of you who are wondering, lol...but i can't tell you what i did either...oops, sorry for being a tease!

So the SAD (Singles' Awareness Day) is upon us again. Guys will wrack their brains trying to come up with something unusual, not overly corny, but sweet nonetheless gestures and girls will hold on to the belief that this is the one. Candy, flower and unique gift shops will quadruple their business revenue, while basking in the glory that is americana (= anything can be commercialized). Singles will be posting frantical ads wherever for fear of being alone (= loser) on this auspicious day.

I believe in chance encounters. Fate. In the context of love.

So no, i did not put up a personal ad either. But i might have taken a chance. That's all i will say.

Of cusps and singularities

Wheee! Obama is leading in delegates! 945 versus 873 (Hillary)...told ya so Hil!

Turmoil notwithstanding, i am starting to feel more calm. I guess it's a lot like math. You are better off keeping your singularities close but cuspy ones closer. The problem is that i haven't gotten all my cusps figured out yet. C'est ennuyeux!

Sometimes i feel so tired of living alone, that i want to grab the next guy off the street and bring him home. Kinda like how the king announced he would marry his daughter off to the first person he sees in the morning! Hmm...haha, maybe i should just try that, at least for once, eh? But wait, i think that's actually Samantha (sex & the city)! Now me, comment dit-on, i am very, very, very selective. That is my handicap. Sigh.

Monday's child

L'enfant du lundi est beau comme un dieu...that will be me!

Wonder what am i doing posting in the middle of a work-day, a beautiful day nonetheless...

There is a turmoil. Within me. But you know that, don't you mr. jones?

The road not taken

Wow, i almost feel like an adult, got a traffic ticket tonight. My maiden one! and i have been driving for like 11 years! So yay! Of course I will be contesting it by written trial, :-P ...as I don't follow rules unless they come accompanied by logic. Hey, maybe being in court would give me that divine nudge (again) to go for LSAT finally!

Had a crazy busy week again, so no blogging was done. I am trying to get a program up and going, and a lot of tweaking was necessary. Hopefully it will be approved soon and i will be immortal forever haha, well at least in my dept. Bless my students, i would have quit long time back if not for them!

Hmm...i think i must have been drunk when i last posted (Smoke or scotch?)...what the hell was that? I mean there have been smoke, scotch and man all in one equation, pour petite moi, though not neccesarily in that order (haha), but what's the point in analyzing the after-effect eh? After all, I am no Candace Bushnell! Besides, writers' strike is ending and no need for me to come up with any screen-plays ...phew!

French tests are getting peu difficile, but i guess it was gonna happen sooner or later. I made a 98% in the second test, wasn't paying attention to instruction and lost 2 points. Oh well, at least it wasn't for lack of knowledge! Man, i am such a nerd! Believe you me it wasn't like this, when i studied math. I mean don't get me wrong, math came easy to me too and it's true that i gotta get my regular dose of math to keep me sane, but somehow it's not quite the same. Wow, could it be true that i didn't take the road not taken?

Hmm...makes you wonder, huh?

Smoke or Scotch?

Ah, i think they are phasing out Jack McCoy in L&O...makes me sad, first Jerry Orbach leaves and now McCoy! Nothing is sacred any more. Huh, interesting how i use the real name for one and the character's name for the other! hmm.

I hate writers' strike!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I might just start writing some screenplays myself, i mean how long can i watch replays or reality shows...aghhh!

I have been thinking about male characters as love interests and they are primarily falling into either smoke or scotch category. At least that's the way it is for me.

Par exemple:

Convo 1:

A: hmm...ten years from now if you think of us...
B: yeah?
A: how will you think? i wonder.
B: you go first.
A: i dunno, with a smile and a sudden stab hopefully...like when you remember something precious you lost but at the same time you feel grateful for having it.
B: (long pause)
A: ah, your turn
B: ah id like to remember you as my one and only...
A: online partner? (laughs)
B: no, love.
A: (silent, mouthes wow).

Convo 2:

C: did you meet him?
A: (silence)
C: planned on meeting?
C: planning on meeting?
A: (silence)
C: go... meet...
C: live!! with him or without him, ok?
A: (chuckles)
A: ah, i am really tired from work, but loving the french class!
C: god bless you!
A: for what??!
A: just being me? (chuckles)
C: exactly!! no more, no less.
A: (laughs)

Ce coeur qui s'écoeure

"Il pleure dans mon coeur
Comme il pleut sur la ville.
Quelle est cette langueur
Qui pénètre mon coeur?

C'est bien la pire peine,
De ne savoir pourquoi,
Sans amour et sans haine,
Mon coeur a tant de peine."

drip, drip, drip...we bleed to know we are alive.

Sigh

Go emo all you want R (i owe you one though for not rhyming!)...too tired to put up any kind of fight ...ah was just a really long week and this bloody day was just the cherry on top - a really long drawn workshop (yawn...), we were pitifully sequestered in a hotel ballroom without any windows...bleugh...although they fed us on a regular basis, it was bleugh nonetheless! We ended up passing around juvenile scribbles like "kill me, kill me now!!" or "make it stop, make it stop!!" yaaaaaaaaawn...

So yeah, then it was another long drawn drive back home, and just when i was starting to feel the weekend by letting all my windows down (um ...all two of them) and opening the sunroof for some much missed fresh air ...pretending to be in a convertible (haha), i hear this sound like a gun shot and breaking of glass! oops there goes tranquility! bubble brusting...tada! What did you expect, eh little one, you were visiting one of the country's most crime-infested cities, no?

Yep, the only high point was when i felt like Danny was finally getting me and "recalculated" the route exactly as i wanted him to, rather than taking me back on his route in his usual convoluted way... (ya ya so i named my nav, you got a problem with that?) Go Danny boy! Love ya!

Oh, wait, and also when i saw this really cool cityscape that just looked 2-d and kinda futuristic...against the serious gray sky...

Gotta study french tomorrow, another test coming up, hmm, thinking of renting french cinemas, gotta get the accent man! Also, no one is teaching me french swear words, and i have a suspicion that there is a definite wealth of knowledge right there...boohoo... oh! that reminds me, i was checking my blog rating, and guess what!

It's NC-17! Wicked! And i didn't even have to lift a finger!