Steady

I am going home today.

But you won't be there.

You won't be there to greet me at the door or raise your hands to bless me. I won't hear your exuberant voice resonating through the house conveying your new topic of interest, i won't hear your tired tiny voice asking for a blanket when you fall asleep. Coming back home in pitch-dark night i won't see you waiting for us by the end of the road with your little flash-light. No more running after us with your fruit treats, or sitting me down and making me sing your favorite songs for hours at a stretch. No more. Your mansion of a house will stare at me with its numerous empty rooms, finished and unfinished, your little writing desk will still be sitting by the door, the clocks will be ticking as before.

There will be tears to greet me. But i will be strong.

For now, just for now, let me be weak for now. And let me ask you for strength. For i feel dead inside.