Rosalinds

I read through my tears and then sat crying and then pondering vacuously as Rosalind made "the decision" and watch Amory walk out of her life. My mind screamed in silence with Amory's vocal whys. Why, why why? Oh do make me see why!

R: Don't look so consciously suffering.

A: What power we have of hurting each other!

R: It's been so perfect---you and I. So like a dream that I'd longed for and never thought I'd find. The first real unselfishness I've ever felt in my life. And I can't see it fade out in a colorless atmosphere!

A: It won't-it won't!

R: Amory, you're young. I'm young. People excuse us now for our poses and vanities...they excuse us now. But you've got a lot of knocks coming to you---

A: And you're afraid to take them with me.

R: No, not that. There was a poem I read somewhere...To have and to hold---and in time let go.

A: But we haven't had! We've got to take our chance for happiness.

R: Dawson says I'd learn to love him.

What do the Rosalinds of the worlds see that the Amorys can never comprehend? Have they already taken the chance in their minds' eyes and seen it all fail miserably, beauty pale and love pass, or do they cage their true selves so the Amorys can fly high and be all they are destined to be?

At this point i don't even want to know. My heart is not into anything now. Let it all wait when i curl up into a ball and forget the world. Why should i even care? What's the point?

All the years of never to see you, never to kiss you, just a gate shut and barred---

I'm sorry, Scott F. I truly am.