Of doubts and thoughts

This morning i woke up with the unusual sound of two male voices conversing inside my apartment. As my dream daze wore off, i realized what it was. My two bros having an intercontinental convo on my answering machine. Pas juste! Waking me up from my beautiful dream! Can't tell you what my dream was about though, lest i be judged for having them.

Ah, judgement!

Those of you who read (and understood) last night's post know already that mr jones and i had a fight hier soir. I have to admit that i was being a brat, and he was being the adult. Then that's us. When one throws a tantrum the other remains calm, well, 9 out of 10 times. That one time is the real test of us.

Even though i have been asked not to wonder and ponder (comme mon prefesseur m'a dit, 'tu penses trop, d') i can't help it. I want to understand why things are the way they are. Perhaps if i stop thinking i will be bursting with happiness, happiness unpolluted by thoughts. Thoughts are perhaps the bane of my existence, but they are also me, and how can i separate the one from the other?

Let us not mistake the thoughts for doubts. There is a distinct delineation. Thoughts are like flakes of clouds, be it the one adorning a sunny sky or ushering rain for that matter. Your mind is clear afterwards. Doubts on the other hand are like cancer cells, multiplying irrationally ultimately causing the demise of the host.

As i am saying this i am thinking of Descartes in the back of my mind, Dubito ergo cogito. Hmm. Am i being truthful then? Then again, can that statement be universally true? Must a doubt precede every thought? Now i quite doubt that, LOL. Sorry, that was lame! Coming back to my point, i still maintain that the thoughts are not necessarily generated from doubts. It's all just a continuum of consciousness, and that debunks the mandate of there being such an order.

Yikes, i think i floated too far away from where i was. Man, i do the same in my classes, i could just run with it, leaving my students with the not so envious task of running with my mind! Anyway, sigh, where was i? Forget all this, let me just hum you a few lines from a song instead, with an apology for inadequate translation...

ce qui je peux dire

ce n'est pas la colère, ou le doute, mon chéri,

c'est juste une autre façon de moi

de vous attirer plus près