De-funked

Another week of january is coming to an end.

I suppose i can say lots have happened during the span of these few weeks. The two almost broke up, but, surprise, surprise...only to find themselves back in each other's arms. Tsk-tsk, children! And then there was the whole facebook fiasco that i don't think merits a narration here, nope! But i won't deny that these two incidents along with the much debated P-trip were enough to send me spiraling into a state of deep despair and denial.

Although i went about doing my job by the weekdays, duly filed my sabbatical application, taught my class, never failed to attend or chair any of my numerous committees, cracked jokes with colleagues in the department hallways, worked on my grants and guided my advisees, i failed to guide myself out of that funk.

Come friday i would take to the bed and just stay there, feeling quite like the big blond, disenchanted, vacant and often in a mood to falter.

I fancied taking up drinking, but luckily or unluckily my lack of the alcohol breaking enzyme made this a rather bitter and short experiment. I even took a longing look at the unused bottle of sleeping pills and toyed with the idea of testing their might. But the uncertainty of me being able to see the results of the said test stopped my curiosity on its track. I started going to the gym with a vengeance only to come back with more energy to fuel my funk. I tried to get together with my friends, but the moment they left i was back in my funk.

I was still in there, as late as of yesterday.

Now i am not.

Wish i knew the reason but i think i have a pretty good idea.

Oh well!

Last friday i decided to drop my french course.

I had to go see about a boy. Yes, i am impulsive like that. I can get a last-moment ticket and hop on a plane and even leave my future behind. C'est moi, for better or for worse.

LOL, in college i changed my minor from physics to econ, all because of a boy. Man, i hated econ, there's no freaking comparison between that and physics, also it messed up my gpa cause i hated it so and could never bring myself to open a book.

Well, to my credit, at least i have been consistent over the years!

But this friday i am regretting that decision. I miss the challenge and the savory taste of new knowledge.

Savez-vous?

I made one resolution in December 2009.

Can it be called a resolution if it's something constantly on your mind but you can't bring yourself to do it?

D'oh!

Oh well. I will think about that one later. Instead let's mull over my last night's dream.

It was a dream without a break until dawn. There were many a social gatherings with known and unknown faces. But there was no mr. jones. Instead there was a young tall guy, classically handsome, apparently some big-shot who had my attention. And judging by comments of other people, he was quite the ladies' man, reserved and focused though he appeared.

I never heard his voice, but i remember talking to him. Walking hand in hand, at times stopping to say hello to people, running around in the rain and hiding behind a pillar to steal a kiss.

As my dream progressed he started to age. And i started to lose clothes.

By the end of my dream i had not a stitch on me. Yes, yes, i know the interpretation, vulnerability and all.

But what do i make of his transition?

There was something temporal about it. Then again, what is more temporal than a dream?